


The Frozen Stranger

by Whaleflying



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: 2020 DCinside Frozen Novel Contest, 2020 DCinside Frozen Novel Contest Winner, 2020 여름 겨울왕국 장편문학대회, Ahtohallan River (Disney), Gen, Post-Frozen 2 (2019), inspired from L'Étranger, 우승작
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whaleflying/pseuds/Whaleflying
Summary: Anna is dead. And Elsa is a stranger.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 7





	1. Part 1, 00.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [얼어붙은 이방인](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/695968) by 엘사v안나 from DCinside Frozen Gallery. 



> #  **얼어붙은 이방인**
> 
> #  **l'étranger gelé**
> 
> ###  A fan novel by 엘사v안나 
> 
> Illustrations by Ruro95 @tumblr
> 
> The original released at 2020/9/10; 2020, 10th september.
> 
> updates when its ready.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE QUEEN IS DEAD, FUNERAL TOMARROW. DEEP SYMPATHY.

Today, Anna is dead. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure. I got a letter from the palace. “ _The Queen is dead. Funeral Tomorrow. Deep Sympathy_.” Which leaves the matter doubtful; it could have been yesterday.

The funeral, of course, held in Arendelle. It’s not too far from Enchanted Forest. It would take less than a half day with Nokk, so I could stay the night and return before the next noon. I put aside matters of Northaldra for a few days. There are still a lot works to do, but circumstances complications. Well, it’s not my fault. When I show up with black dresses tomorrow, then at last, I would pay respects. The status quo is still somewhere middle where her being alive and dead, but it will be clear up after the funeral is done, and everything will back to the norm.

I rode Nokk at six. Snow covered Enchanted Forest and as always, cold did not bother me. I had dinner with Northaldra people as usual. Everyone gave their respects over the news. Honeymaren said,

“It was your only sister.”

When it was time to leave, everyone walked with me to the border of the Forest. I listened for small advice for a right dress code. When I was at the Honeymaren’s house I was bit numb; she lost Ryder few months ago.

* * *

The plaza of the palace is right after passing the main gate of it.

“The Queen Emeritus[1] Elsa, her majesty is here!” With the cry of the guard guarding the palace, the main gates opened. The guard told me I need to meet Irene, the present Queen, first. Until they send the message to her, I waited; the guard paid me a respect and returned a nod to them as an etiquette; they escorted me to the office. The aura of confidence like her mother, Anna, was radiating from her. And there was Kristoff; who harvested ice breaking through harsh winter; but now with his bleak body and getting closer to his wife, is staring at me emotionlessly as if he has waited for an era. I was uncertain if that was a work of a passage of time; or loss of the life partner; or both.

“My mother,”

Icy atmosphere of the office seems to break with Irene’s word for a minute.

“She passed away with her last words, ‘It was fun,’ with some words beyond my understandings.”

I can see she wants me for an explanation. So, I tried to speak, but let my mouth shut.

“Stop, Irene,”

Kristoff opened his mouth, which is heavier than ever.

“It was her decision. Stop talking.”

Irene shut her mouth and asked me to follow her. It was not like this when she was younger; giving me a thought for a moment and nodded. I am the only one who did not change.

I followed her as if I was never here. Leaving Office and walk down to the first floor, there is a ballroom; passing the ballroom through the main entrance, I could find the church a far, where my coronation held a few decades ago. A lot of my memory when faint, but some were clear.

“How have you been?”

She asked. Since it was just an attempt to break the ice, I replied with a silent ‘I don’t know,’. And she faintly looked at me and turned her head forward; Continues walking as it seemed effective.

“Is this snow…”

After a long walk, she dropped the tail as she assumed it is troublesome to ask. Arendelle was snowing heavily, not necessarily a blizzard. There are enough reasons for people to question me about the relationship of weather and my mood.

“No, that’s not me.”

Irene answered with a quiet ‘yes,’. She seemed a bit cold, so I asked her again.

“Cold? I can stop it.”

“No, its fine.”

Irene hurriedly answered; I was not convinced whether she is okay, but I thought, that’s not my business.

A ray of sunlight dimly tinkling my eyes through the stained-glass. The structure of the church is exactly as when I had coronation, except few replacements for expired materials. The interior, but instead of choir, there were black sheets of fabric hanging down from celling with the black coffin decorated with bouquets told me it is not the same atmosphere; there was an only reflection of light from a lacquered chair filling void where there were people at then. Irene walks straight to the coffin where Anna should lie. I walked on the carpet, sweeping chairs with my hand; I felt nothing.

“Do you wish to see her face for the last time?”

Irene put her hands on the coffin. I imagined her lying on the coffin; gazed the square box. Speaking of which, I don’t remember when I saw her last time.

“How was she dead?”

“By aging. She was such a robust lady, but couldn’t defeat time…”

Irene gazed at me after that. This is not the first time, but I can not fathom being uncomfortable. She murmured ‘sorry,’ and turned her head toward to the coffin. I gently put my hand on her hand on the coffin; I can sense the twitching of her hand, but soon calm heartbeat was the only thing I could hear.

“I don’t need to.”

It was a simple answer; but I can feel her hand shaking. I put my other hand to her hand. She was crying, fine just a moment ago. I guess that’s because of me. I did not bother to say, ‘it was your mother’s wish,’; even that was an exact hit. It was a brief meeting. Before we left, I meaninglessly turned back and glanced at the coffin once more; no surprise, it stayed still. Irene and I went back to the snowy plaza.

* * *

Whatever the intentions behind, they offered my room instead of a guest room. I felt reassured thinking they are putting quite attention to me for just one-day stay. However, I could not get soaked with nostalgia because they used it as her children’s room; and everything here had changed.

Followed by customs, I should have to be with Anna all night too, but she pushed me not to, saying, “To be frank, I don’t want to invite you for the funeral.” And I had to go to this room.

Me standing here right now is the sole thing I disobeyed of Anna’s order. My most of reasoning came from what people say, “but,” Now, come to realize of it, perhaps that doubtful letter was just a notice. I get her intentions, but I am just one victim of “but,”. This is the last and probably I will never put my feet on Arendelle; That might be what I have thought. If she knew, she would scold me for being my way all over again. It’s not that bad.

Outside of the window, black flags covered every square but no people. Words around The Queen Anna called her The Great shows how her subject liked her. Arendelle will be in sorrow for many days.

I lied on the bed; Lonely. I do not exist here, but I am the most noticed one. I can understand why; and I only could understand why. I followed what Anna meant to me, but only questions come up and hanged on the celling. I counted them few and bit by bit, closed my eyes.

“Are you sleeping?”

The moment I am about to sleep, a sudden knock woke me up. As I finished saying ‘come in,’ Irene broke into my room.

“I am sorry in the church.”

Questions rose as I did not handle abrupt context.

“I was not trying to blame you. It’s just…”

“I’m fine.”

She looked into my expression and put one more sentence. I was expecting what she might say, so intercepted her words. This is good for both of us; I thought. Irene came to the bed.

“I am not sure if that was the right choice. ‘Normal’ you would not say she does not wish to see the face of my mother.”

“But I am not ‘normal’ me. This is what your mother decided after deep consideration.”

“Are you sure? Just okay with that?”

I looked up at the celling again. All the questions hanging around disappear one by one and then none, without a trace. I opened up with answer knowing how she would react.

“Yes.”

Irene’s eye was looking at ground. I turned my faces because I can see her trying to hide her face.

“Then I will see you tomorrow. Please don’t be late.”

Irene closed the door after finishing her words. This is the first day after Anna’s death; or perhaps the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a note by the translator : 
> 
> [1] It means retired, so that we can keep call her a queen. in the original text, it use ‘선왕’ which means ex-monarch.
> 
> ... I saw a lot of confusion about her title over here. one calls her princess, Queen, Lady Elsa, Etc, Etc. That problem is unique to english vocabulary since Korean language have every titles for every occasion (and gender neutral in some sense). For me, PRINCESS elsa sounds ... weird as I am one who preached that she is the queen to whose not in the fandom. 
> 
> On a silver lining, welp, you have multiple queens, while we will only have 2 forever.


	2. 01.

The next morning, snow stopped as if it never did, and cold winter’s sun was shining the square of Arendelle. I could see without seeing they were busy. It is my sister’s funeral, but they are doing without me. I do not know if this is her wish too. Everything happening have good and bad side, sometimes you don’t know what’s bad. I have never been in this situation, so I had to come up with my own.

I stood in front of the mirror. Never changing shape of me was in front of me. I dragged and sat on the chair. I wrapped my hair long down up.

“Your majesty, may I come in?”

A sound of knock came to me when I was just having my hair braided. I waived my hand short, holding the hair.

“I can do it on my own. You are excused.”

Shortly after,

“Yes, your majesty. I will excuse.”

And silence stood in. Having servants serving me is strange to me since it had been so long I left Arendelle.

The ceremony was grand. But I was just standing next to the coffin silently. I am not needed when they carried and moved the coffin; buried it; choir hymned it. She buried besides her parents after some formalities and the ceremony concluded. That simple.

However, in the square of Arendelle, there are some people yet to return home.

“Queen Elsa,”

Somebody pulled my skirt. I turn my head around and found a 3-or-4-years-old boy. That certain repetitive rhythm of pulling my skirt was out of ordinary.

“My apologies, your majesty!”

The figure who seemed to be the mother of the boy grasp the boy and apologized. I give her a small smile and hug the boy.

“It’s fine.”

I turn my face to the boy. At a glance, I could see he was a child full of curiosity.

“What is your name?”

“My name is Björn.”

“Do you have questions to ask for me?”

“Don’t you sad, Queen Elsa?”

Even I sensed it; temperature of surrounding air dropped sharply. Face of parents of the boy turn pale and Irene and Kristoff with me froze and wait for my next words. I want to laugh, because I could see the curiosity behind those surprised faces.

“How about you?”

The boy mumbles and murmurs words inside his mouth. I thought it is cute and boop his nose with my index finger.

“its fine.”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay. Not everyone needs to be sad.”

I tried to return the boy to the mother. However, his face craving for an answer made me hug him in my arms again. He will bother his mother until he gets the definitive answer. So I opened my words.

“Because I made a promise.”

“A promise?”

“Yes. To never mourn for her. Queen Anna ordered me. Shouldn’t we follow her order, is it?”

“But…”

The mother’s face is covering with anxiety by the time. I had to make it quick. I played with my hand made a permafrost badge for him; A snowflake on front and crocus, the symbol of Arendelle, on the back. To be honest, I got a subtle surprise at it.

“I may hard to understand for now. When you grow up, please visit Ahtohallan with this on? I will be always there.”

The boy nod and disappeared with his mother; walking with his short leg hugging the badge as if it’s a national treasure.

“Will he come to visit Ahtohallan?”

Irene asked me while starring at them.

“Ahtohallan is always open.”

I answered.

“Yeah…”

It’s not I did not notice her nuance, but I determined to move on. Irene and Kristoff knew very well it was not a total truth behind it.

“By the way,”

Before entering the ballroom, they stopped by my question. Unrelaxing that they reacted every word I made, but there is no use.

“Am I scary?”

“What?”

They both replied.

“I vaguely remember that I was getting along with people, but those people now are uncomfortable with my presence.”

“You did not show up in Arendelle often nowadays. And we just had a funeral.”

She replied.

“I guess?”

And there was no more conversation. But I can see that three of us having different thoughts moving all around over heads.

* * *

I went to the room that I stayed last night but they had it cleaned thoroughly. Right, this is Arendelle, and I am a retired queen. That means there is no more to do here.

At least, for last I wanted to draw memoir of this room once my room. I inspect each corner of the room. I remember little, but I think many happened here. And once again I disobey The Queen. She will understand; I guess. The bed was there just as before, just a different shape; Shelf have looks different a little. They would had replaced it after decades; Drawers, vanity table, and cabinets are all replaced. It was only I, which hasn’t changed.

“Elsa? May I come in?”

Its Kristoff’s voice. Because I expected a long conversation, I straddle on the bed.

“Come in.”

The door opened without velocity. A bleak man glanced the room; walked to the bed. In the motion of him crushing to the bed, there was no the strong ice harvester, nor the wise king consort. The time pierced him like that. The beard he gave up shaving; wrinkles under his eye ball; stretched neck lump; dried discolored skin with a spot of blotch tells me his time is here is short.

“You are leaving now, aren’t you?”

I answered his question with silent nods. He looked up to the empty celling.

“Then this is,”

“The last.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, it is.”

Meaningless dialog flew a few times. Kristoff, finally determined, faced me and said,

“Elsa, we all love you. As Anna did we… Irene too. I may not look like that. But we all believe that every moment with you is happy. At least, we all remember. Irene said that too. So….”

He was pacing up.

“I know, Kristoff. Its good if you and Irene remembers.”

“That’s why I can not burden you anymore. If I die, no, I must die, I know you need enormous courage to be here. But, though, she is your sister. I appreciate that you remember her even in this way. So what I mean is,” With patience, I waited for him finishing his sentences. I predicted what he is going to say, however it had to come out of his mouth to be meaningful.

“Many people will die. Everyone you know. Because that’s what humans do. So what I am trying to say,”

“Kristoff!”

He cleared up his mind with a shout of his name. His mouth was stumbling and his gaze tried to avoid me. But there was a word that he must say. I waited.

“I know. You don’t have to be sorry.”

He swallows saliva with a gulp.

“Please, do not attend any funeral now after; including mine and Irene.”

Kristoff releases a long sigh, as if it was an extraordinary job.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Because you have to keep move on.”

I stand up. Truly, there is no more to do here for me.

“What are you going to do now?”

He asked. It was a usual formality, but not this time. However, I did not have much plan; could not find any good excuse and just rounded around it.

“I am not sure. I am going to on a trip after staying Ahtohallan for a while. Tell Irene that I thank her.”

I answered. Kristoff kept watching me to the last moment before I close the door; so he would not forget. I think he made an obscure smile right before the closing; could be a mistake, but I believed it that way.

The return trip to Ahtohallan felt prolonged, longer than the trip to Arendelle. And it should have stopped snowing, but eerily sporadic snowflakes were falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note by translator :  
> And there is a discomfort from that Kristoff will never have a title thats higher then PRINCE.  
> We did not had that problem either, as he had title higher than prince and lower than king in our vocavulary, '국서', just like Iduna had different title for her other than Queen, '왕비'.  
> There is no chance that you will confuse The Queen and a queen in Korea, and the prince consort is not a prince but somthing higher.
> 
> Hear me out, Iduna is a Queen and Kristoff is not ... a King?.... Why?...  
> Olaf calls him 'King of the reindeer', but his title will be never King?.... 
> 
> Let's just pretend Anna made a rule about it. He is a King Consort; like Iduna is a Queen Consort. Mic drop.


	3. Part 2, 02.	Ahtohallan – 22th december 1921

_I am the Queen of Snow; the Empress of Winter. My frozen heart will freeze one who finds me and my magic blinds all who seek me. The coldest place on earth, that’s where I belong and whom can not withstand the piercing chill shall not be permitted._

_Tapering ice spikes the frozen throne cuts through rays of light that goes through; and I, the Snow Queen, on the throne, waiting for the next victim thou will bleed blood. Any whom dazzled with freezing season shall be there, thus this crystal castle will be their grave._

_I am one who leads those pity souls…_

And then I stopped acting and gazed upon the fairy tale book, “The Snow Queen”, next to that bleeding throne. What am I doing right now? I removed that bloody throne with my wave of hands that its mere presence would conquer the world. I created a small hand mirror out of smooth ice and inspected myself on the reflection. Frostbite covered my fingertips and toes to my face with shimmering pale blue lights. The crown spikes with no consideration of aesthetics. The dress made of fur or ice or whatever that was indistinguishable with snow that only parvenu would wear. And the hair pinned every space.

I changed my ugly dress into what I usually wear, pajama like cloth that you will not find any dignity. Also, I removed disguise from my face and that hair with no rules applied; hair down did not mean that.

This is not me, I thought.

“Björn! I can’t do this anymore; there must be a grave misunderstanding from Andersen.”

I approached him inside the chamber of memory, scribbling something on the note.

“Then who would take the job of the Snow Queen?”

He replied while sticking his gaze on the memories of Ahtohallan. The boy I could hold in my arms is now a father of a child. Her mother passed away a few years ago; I assume the weight on him raising her alone. That cute boy is now a handsome man with black hair. That reminds me of Kristoff at his peak, however his nose was smaller than him. That was assuring.

When he visited Ahtohallan with the badge I had made, that was no surprise. But when he said he wants to study Ahtohallan, that was startling. He assumed me rejecting it. As you can see, he, who just became his age, was stressed and choosing his word carefully. And I was curious and played him. I spew him all negativity towards him. And he gave me every reason for every nitpick I made up. For instance, we must thoroughly study this important heritage for future generation; Discovering how memories gather will cause paradigm shift in study of history; or even this is the reason he was born. After giving an hesitating approvals to the man having an earthquake because I thought he was giving enough egregious efforts, he visits here to ‘studying’ this place every winter solstice.

After the assimilation of Arendelle into Norway, the relationship of the former queen and a subject is now in the air, but to an owner and guest, and to last friends who remembers Arendelle as it was. But now, I regret abandoning the title. Because If I did not, I do not have to take his unbelievable request of acting as a “Snow Queen” for his daughter. And even more, I don’t remember how it is like because I melted my ice castle when I erased my memory.

“This is absurd. Seriously. Kai and Gelda was my secretaries,” I gave the impression of the book while I was flipping.

“Anyway, I cannot do this. No, I won’t.”

“I never ask you to do that. This is just a birthday present.”

“What?”

“Wait a minute, did you really practiced the role of Snow Queen in the book?”

Björn bursts out his laugh, closing his eyes.

“Oh, my Goddess. This is so funny. You, sitting on the throne, looking down at underlings, resting your chins on one hand, pretending a lone empress? I am eager for a such site seeing.”

“…”

“Hey, your face is red, and… ouch! Cold!”

He was bubbling his mouth, trapped in a block of ice, barely putting his head out. This is still easy for me.

“Shall we continue?”

“I am so sorry your majesty, can you please release me?”

And this is how now I spent this time of the year. It was a brilliant idea to make him that badge so that there is one that who comes a regular visit for me every year that gives me a relief. Because Snow Queen, River of the Memories, those are now a legend that you can only find in the fairy tales nobody searched for an old memory but him. This day meant more than just a birthday for me.

When people paid to visit me, I travel a lot. But after I had no more guest, I stuck here for as long as I remember to not lose sight of. I feared if I would lose it like Arendelle did. This place is my last resort since this is where lies my memories of Anna. However, even I can recall memories of her when I wanted, I did not; I did not want to. That’s just memories, and she’s gone. I just liked how it is.

I conjured a cuddle couch to lean, with a sophisticated touch of cuddling snow covering it, I throw myself on it. The dome of the chamber displayed memories anywhere water touched; and accumulated forever. At one side, an author dips a point of the last sentence of the fairytale. On another side, it shows the tragedy of the Great War that broke recently; and the other there is me visiting the funeral of my sister.

Björn shook his body like a puppy out of water as he is out of ice. I smirked at the cute scenery; the thought of this could be the reason I keep freezing him went through brief.

“Is there anything left to study after all these years?”

He answered with crushing onto next of the couch. As I made a similar one as mine for him, his head lifted by the height of it. He did not mind.

“That’s how it is; its endless. Whenever I thought I have answered questions, then there is another comes out from nowhere. But,”

“But?”

“I have almost finished what I needed to do there. Its kind of melancholy.”

“Oh? Then what do you need? You never told me once, did you?”

And then he puts his hands behind his head and gave a giant yawn and then lay down on the other couch, “I don’t know. Getting you back on the track?”

“What?”

The gaze of him strikes me out of blue. And I gazed at him out on a reflection. It seemed his mystic cyan eyes are full of confessions deep in his life as if it is a predator waiting for a right moment to catch a prey. I can not move my eyes from him as if there is a thing fixed my spines; because I did not have felt this way before, I just let that glide me.

The visions showing various memories changed into snowy moments. Snow is falling on the dome. Night sky, clear sky, cloudy sky, sleet, diamond dust, flakes, graupel… that silent accumulation of once existed snow felt vivid, as if we were there. He pointed his finger to one scene that his gaze fixated.

“That is the snow when I explored to find the Snow Queen.”

Naturally, I followed his finger. That was him just became his age riding a fishing boat. The face of him seized steering had the happiest smile in the world. The badge I made him is now a necklace. It was snowing. Heavy. Snow plied the deck, and vision was minimal, but also his fear of death was minimal.

“And that snow is when I got bullied by a bunch of thugs when I went to a library to lend a book.”

He pointed to another side of the dome. And there was teenage Björn walking along the alley of snowing Arendelle. His footstep was light despite weight of all the books his carrying. As his footsteps light was, the footsteps of bullies beating him. He held his books as hard as he could as if it’s his treasure, but ended futile and they took these books. And the titles of those made them laugh at him; ‘Queen of the Snow,’ ‘Queen Elsa Explained,’ ‘Queen Elsa and the Snow Queen,’ ‘Disenchanted–History of Queen Elsa,’… I could almost hear their sneer at him. From the sky, fallen snowflakes touched the pages of those books had fallen and opened away, melted, and soaked.

“And again, that’s snow before the day of Queen Anna’s funeral.”

On the other side, even younger himself was watching Arendelle flag flying half-mast. But the flag lost color, gray crocus with a darker background slowly risen from every flagpole of the palace only to be held in the middle. And crystal-clear white snow is waving and hiding flags with the stark contrast. Björn was watching it on a vacant square in front of his house, and snow soaked as soon as it fell on him. There was no sadness, but curiosity filled his eye.

And I finally skimmed through memories reflected on the dome. All of them were Björn’s memories on the snowy days. Rejoice of the day visiting the Queen of Ice and Snow, Doubt of her existence, frustration on the day when he left Arendelle, and the hope he felt from the badge she gave till the end.

“Do you believe in fate?”

He was starring at me. Both of us were looking at each other on each couch for long. Nobody but only two of us. Only snowflakes flown inside the dome, and his existence told me this is reality.

After a long pause, he suddenly bursts out a laugh.  
“It’s nothing. Playing with you is not fun anymore.  
“It’s NOTHING? Are you running away from the consequences of freezing ice? This is the worst of you.”

He stood up and crackled like a madman.

“You should see your face now. Oh, right, we can. Do you wanna?”

If this was usual, I should already freeze him and he barks for the mercy for his action, but this was different. He played with me for all his life but never showed me this many memoirs of himself. I never seen his face like that before. His pupil wants to tell me something. He wants to tell me something. It was through his life. And I had to wait for what message he wants to tell me because he was not ready to tell. And I can wait. All I have was time. And I have all the time. I can wait.

And he returned to his ordinary self, a prankster. He was still crackling all the time. I questioned myself to him to stop with my power as a former queen, But I did not because I can see he was hiding behind it. So, I decided just to let it go.

The sleepiness finally stopped him from laughing. He has had laugh insane. I waved snow like a cotton and made a blanket for him to cover. I wondered what he wants to tell but at the same time, did not. When you live without an end, your sense of time changes. There is no more hurry, and more tolerant. Everything but me changes; like Ahtohallan, the river frozen forever; Memory constantly gathers and keeps accumulates monotonously. However, I did not care. I must move forward, thus had to cover it white like snow on the field. And it freezes into a glacier and be there. I cannot see what’s deep inside, but I know it’s there and sturdy. And as long as It stood, that was enough for me. Maybe that’s why Ahtohallan is frozen. And that’s why I am no other than the Snow Queen.

I curled his hair, sitting next to him, sleeping. I liked the texture of his hair I felt between my fingertips. But on the other side of my mind, I feared that this may also only short-lived. Perhaps one day, it may be an agony.

I swept through the memories of Ahtohallan again. There is I combing his hair, using my one hand as a comb. Just like moving picture, it is just there. I starred it for a long and slept next to him.

And the day is over. I shock away worries with a sleep and said a goodbye to him leaving. And he vanished over the horizon, riding a tiny fishing boat. He will be fine with the aid of Nokk and Gale.

“Next time, I will be here with my daughter! Remember your role of the Snow Queen! Be prepared!”

He said while boarding the boat. But not a chance. There won’t be a single second that I practice that ‘Snow Queen’. I really not like the guy named Andersen.

A far, Bruni popped out his head and jumps onto my hands; with no concerns of surroundings, he looked at me.

“Bruni? What do I do for another year?”

He licked his one eyeball with his tongue.

“No idea. Good for you.”


	4. 03. Ahtohallan, 22th December 1922

Blurring snow rendered sky and the sea into one. I forget I had a visitor today and starred blankly into that rough white texture of the horizon. It was not an ordinary day, and in these days, I felt an inexplicable feeling that I am alive alone in this world. Silence devours the sound of waves crashing into the shore, which I liked.

It may sound funny, but I love snow. Because it preys memories and fills time quietly, and that resembles me. Surface of crystal-clear pile of snow without a smudge is your clean slate for a new start. Because it is a blank canvas, you can just draw what you want. And if you mind, you can just cover that and redraw.

I stepped over snow. Snow resisted, but it could not handle the weight and crushed into a shape of my shoe print as if they did not want to reveal what’s under. And thus, my lips rose a bit. But what’s under was not important, and I don’t want to know.

When I saw the tiny boat’s bulkhead over the horizon, I worried more than pleased of their visit. Nokk and Gale would try their best on their behalf. But it was not a simple trip breaking through this cold. Even worse, he is with his daughter. I should ask Bruni for a fire later.

The boat is closing to the shore. I waved a cylinder and a pair of lens and assembled it into a binocular. And put it close into my eyes. He was saying something in the bulkhead. “What? I can’t hear you!” I yield as if he is right next to me. Björn searched belongings and found an enormous sheet of paper and wrote, ‘QUE MYSTIC VIBE.’

That persisting bastard.

* * *

“Are you really the Snow Queen?”

Fortunately, I still remembered the wardrobe of the ‘Snow Queen,’ and made into my style. I rounded spikes into a fluffy, abyssal shape resembles warlock into a little adorable. As a result, I made a cyan, right-fitting dress. I put sparkling beads on the bodice, connecting skirt with long narrow ends but with a perpendicular cut from a knee for comfort with translucent texture, and the transparent cape embellished with few giant snowflakes of my own. And finally, with my hair let down. Thinking of it after, I felt fond of it. Maybe my unconsciousness was working with. I am not sure if this is the ‘MYSTIC VIBE’ he told, but it satisfied this little kid.

Iris, the daughter of Björn, was holding a fountain pen in her hand and a copy of ‘Snow Queen’. I could not hide my bursting laugh from her. She was excited and expecting. Okay, I am the ‘Snow Queen,’ not the one you think of. Not the one like in that certain fairy tale. I nodded at her and took her pen and the book.

However, this was not the same book I read before. As I open the book, the very first page had an illustration of ‘Snow Queen’; Mushy white all over the excessively overgrown gown with irregular pointy spiky crown. And that warlock had a face with a test of time. Here, there, wherever this may the first image they think of, ‘Snow Queen.’ I am not pleased with it. Again, I felt a hatred against a specific author.

I autographed ‘Elsa, the Snow Queen’ and wrote ‘Happy birthday to Iris’ right below of it. When He told me her birthday is same as mine, which was today, he reacted to my face of disbelief and told that’s purely coincidental. Do I even have a choice?

I looked upon her again. She had a black hat on the hair with brown ponytails on each side, adding up her cuteness, and wore a red top with a long dark skirt. Nothing out of ordinary of her.

“This is not what you have expected?”

Her eyes rolled between the book and me, then fold the book.

“Not really, because my father told me that this is not what she looks like, and…”

“And?”

“She is not the witch that kidnaps…”

Her word dropped from the tail.

“Really? Is that what you have been told?”

“… yes.”

I can see her frightened. And my inner prankster woke up. If this is his plan, then I will go full throttle. I raised a column of ice under her so that height can match with mine. She simply let it raised.

“Oh, is it? He must have told you a lie. He is a messenger I have sent. And you will be here for all eternity before finding your true love.”

“What?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No…”

“Then you should live here for all of your life. Too bad.”

Her eyes were having a flood.

“Are you sure that boyfriend is the only option? Is that only true love?”

“There…”

And then I found Björn silently giggling behind the scenes. Instead of answering her, I gazed at him who’s smile is irritating me. I was like I am site seeing the perfect snowfield, only to find out there is one irritating smear. However, I could fathom what it would have been. What can I do? Well, that was what Anna wanted, I guess.

“Don’t worry. That was just a joke.”

I tried to laugh off of it and lower the column under her. She was still frozen, so I kneed to match her eye level.

“I am sorry. I just wanted to play with you. Your father? Do you think stupid is appropriate for a messenger?”

She burst out a giggle.

“That makes little sense, is it not?”

She nodded without a hesitation. He is not the alpha of the family, as expected.

“Is there anything you want to ask?”

“Pardon me?”

I quickly waved out the same binocular that I created earlier.

“Such as this. Despite its made of ice, it will not melt. Its magic.”

Now she hesitates.

“Oh! By the way, I have matters to discuss with your father, so could you play with ‘real’ messenger of me while I talking to your father? You can tell me later if you want it or not.”

Now her face is fulfilled with delight. I called Gale and Bruni. Bruni was lying his body over Gale.

As soon as Iris heard the whistle, she turned back.

“Let me introduce you, Gale, and Bruni.”

And as she screams happiness, have flown away with Bruni followed by trails of fallen leaves.

* * *

When she is too far away to be visible, I waved a table and a pair of chairs. I sat on the one side of the table. My laugh was leaking. Thinking of it, it has been a long time since I saw a child.

“I never signed other than official documents.”

I giggled. I was funnier than what I expected to. We both received an interesting gift. On the other side of the table, Björn stared at me without a word. He was not smiling.

“What? Speak. Is there something wrong?”

My head made different scenarios of what is going on with him. And none of them are good. And even a freezing moment later, he was speechless. I let him silent.

“I don’t know how to break ice. I was thinking how you will not murder me cold.”

And he finally made a joke. A good sign. I smiled.

“Great, now your ice breaking capability is just over the requirement. Good speed. You may continue.”

“Is that a joke or literal?”

I burst into a laugh.

“Take what you want.”

“I have practiced it for an entire year countless times, but it’s still difficult not to shiver doing it in front of you.”

“Because I am the Snow Queen?”

And I popped an apple made of ice and dropped it on the table. The icy apple rolled round and round and stood in the middle of it.

“Maybe?”

And we laughed a lot without holding back since a while. And you know that there is moment even though everyone looks happy, but there is one unspeakable fact that no one wants to drop and just goes around and rounds of euphemism. Me and Björn very well knew that evading it with laugh will be laughable. And our laugh become sporadic to silent.

I said, “Ahtohallan will remember this, right?”

And he replied, “As one of your many mistakes.”

I bubbled an attempt to burst another giggle.

“Good. Enough of probing. Let’s get back to the business. I do not mind a long prologue. As we know, all I have is time.”

“I found an easy way to begin.”

“Excellent.”

“You told me I am a messenger? Yes, I am a messenger. 20 years ago, the Snow Queen who was very kind to a child who intrude Ahtohallan, and her order for him was clear. She wants me to persuade you.”  
“Yes. Persuade me for what?”

“To remember the lost memories.”

I giggled again. Now he looked like a little child that was in my arm. Naïve.

“Björn, don’t make up stories. If that’s what you really wanted to tell me, then we should end conversation here. Do you really think that I would give such undertake to a dummy? I was worried that if you are going to propose to me.”

And he laughed too. This birthday is going to be a one day full of laughter.

“I could get here because I was a dummy. You made an excellent choice, me.”

And then he held my hand. That made me surprise. I he never tried to hold my hand or even tried to touch me for past two decades. His hand was bigger and warmer than of mine. It was long after from the last time I felt any human warmth.

“I wouldn’t put the word ‘propose’ lightly if you know my view of you. And I you must know that I have a daughter.”

“What is your viewpoint of me?”

He looked at me and when he looked at me, I have no choice but to laugh out of his mixed baggage of both contempt and childish expression with playfulness.

“If I tell you, then that’s not me.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Are you thinking that I am being childish?”

“If I was out of mind. And I am tried with anyone trying to control over my life weather its people or magic. After Anna’s request, there won’t be any of it.”

“Then, what’s that?”

His face was conscious. He was acting as if he knew something I do not know. He played me once again as if he was a caretaker. And as soon as his word ended, a figure of me appeared on the center of the dome, wearing same as me, with same spot as me.

“What are looking at? She has a word for you.”

I knew what he was talking. I constructed the figure. And the bright snow figure of me walked step by step to me. And she made an identical table and two chairs that I built for him. Elsa sat on the one side and knocked the other side with her hand. I figured what is happening. This is the message from past myself to future self who lost memory. I sat on the other side and faced Elsa, who remembers. She was 40 years younger but had no difference from me like it’s yesterday.

“Hi! How do you do?

She spoke. When I opened my mouth, she pushed her hand against my lips.

“Just listen. You can not have a conversation with me. I am not sure who I will change into.”

And she continued her dialog.

“As you have guessed, this is a message to my future self. I do not know how I will be delivered to you, but I am sure I will find out a way. You know, I am the smart one,”

I glanced at him. He shrugged and said ‘focus’. She continued.

“Probably, you completely different from me. This is not like when Grand Pabby removed Anna’s memory. She was five. I don’t know to what extent, removing memories of Anna with you will change your traits, personalities because that’s how your characteristics built around. It’s some kind of… side effects. But please don’t blame Anna for that. She just wanted to you to be happy, and she was fully aware of its cost. I imagine she must have been through countless doubts over this decision before she gave me the idea of it. And I said yes. It must be a denouement after an agonizing process. I can’t even imagine. Oh, you don’t know what I am talking about.”

And Elsa stayed silent for a moment. And she sipped a cup of tea in front of her. The posture and the amount she sipped were identical to that of mine. And she continued her words.

“I don’t like to say this… but she’s dead, right, Anna must be dead, is it not? Do you understand what I am appealing to? Even if you attempt to recover your memories, there is no one to oppose. The time with Anna was full of joy. Even more than you think. And you rarely kept her promises.”

Her hands covered a burst of her laugh. She was onto something.

“It will be fine. Every mishap and journeys with her ended with a happy ending. I can you few right now, but I think it’s better to experience it by yourself.”

And she stood up from the chair; the message was ending. I, too, stood up and faced her upfront.

“You don’t like someone of something else interrupting you. You are sick of it. Because your life always was. Magic, memories, Anna, Queenly duties… all of your moments went into a turmoil where you don’t want. And yet, you want to let her do just as she planned? That was my choice; nobody but you. And I don’t need anyone for what I will decide.”

And she pointed a finger somewhere as if she knew I would be there. And that was correct.

“The choice is yours, but I leaned to share good stuffs. It was a pleasure to share moments with her. I do not know what you will choose, but I would choose a harrow life with her memories. And this is all I need to say, so let me go. I got an order from the Queen to visit Arendelle.”

I stared in numb past-myself exiting Ahtohallan.

“Oh!”

And she returned to where she was, just remembered what she forgot to mention.

“Just in case, don’t try to look up a few past scenes here. Where you should dive is the deep down. Do not delude yourself that watching few memories from past would return your nostalgia. You must throw yourself into the space of truth. Do not worry. You have done yourself before.”

And she headed her head into nowhere, remembering another detail.

“Um… thinking of it, Anna thaw me that time. I don’t know how that would work this time. Find a way. Because all you got is time. I really need to go. I hope you make a right choice.”

And it terminated. I flurried her into individual snowflakes. Each tiny snowflake quietly wiggled and settled on the ground.

“This is one of memory I found researching this place. To be frank, I found it long ago, and I was certain that I was not wrong.”

Björn spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
I was so numb that I speak that line without making a movement.

“Because I need to figure out how to pull you off from the depth. You would be so depressed if I showed you this before figuring it out. And then how could I toy with you? I figured it out before last year and had to make it sure last year. Or you would be forever frozen deep down there.”

I had no word left to say.

“So, what is your choice? You ordered me, and I followed it to the fullest extent. All that left is your word.”

“I need some time to think.”

I really was. Because that Elsa was before memory loss. Of course, she would. But that is not what I am now. I am far from her, more than I expected.

“You will have enough time to think. We will start the process next year. Just make your decision until then. I have prepared what you need, so do not worry. All your research was handed over to me.”

“I did?”

“Or why did I? A heritage for humanity? A monumental discovery? I am enough busy assisting the Queen right next to me.”

I remembered when I made him a badge. At that moment, I set his destiny. But that was an improvise.

“Don’t stress out yourself. I was happy when you chose me. Even if there was a chance to choose, I choose to be your messenger. Living as the Snow Queen’s secretary is not a mundane life.”

And he returned saying that the choice I make will not bother him. After he left, I watched through his memory again. There was a shadow of me cast on him whenever a frustrating problem seemed no breakthrough, or when he found its breakthrough; like Anna, whom blow past a part of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was doing this, the original author have made ... a spinoff! 
> 
> And I still have 25 chapters left!
> 
> And happy lunar new year!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the winner of 2020 Summer Dcinside Frozen Gallery Novel Contest.
> 
> To participate, the work had to be longer than 80k letters, which is roughly 50k words in english,  
> 8 contestents entered their work, and 9 anonymous judges scored them with their reasons longer then 1k letters for each works.  
> The highest 4 went to the final, and they competited again.  
> No major shipping was allowded other than canon to prevent discords.  
> No gore or porn was allowded.  
> Must be an original that never released before.  
> Out of all 8, only 7 decided to release.


End file.
